Author: Todd Heaton

The first time I recall being introduced to the term “Goofy Loop,” was likely as a young Field Training Sergeant. While seeking knowledge on my own to properly prepare my people, I purchased a book called Training at the Speed of Life, Vol. 1 by Kenneth R. Murray. Here is an excerpt from that book:

“It has been said that a definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So it goes with the second intervention point, called the Goofy Loop:

Drop the gun, put it down, drop the weapon, I’m not telling you again, drop it, drop it now, sir … drop … the … gun, DROP THE GUN …

If you hear your student constantly repeat the same thing or versions of the same thing, or you observe him unsuccessfully attempt the same action three or more times, you are witnessing a Goofy Loop. He is stuck and needs to be dislodged. Either have a branch in the scenario for such an occurrence, or utilize a Socratic Questioning to dislodge him from his “stuck” place. Think of a Goofy Loop as a stuck record. Sometimes you have to nudge the record player a bit to get the record back on track.”¹

There is no shortage of police videos where officers tell an unjust aggressor to drop the gun over, and over, and over again. The record I’ve seen is around fifty warnings. That’s about forty nine too many. That is absurd beyond the pale.

To understand goofy loops we have to begin with an OODA loop. One craftsman among several down through the corridors of time was Colonel John Boyd, USAF. Boyd, a military strategist and fighter pilot, gave the world the OODA loop. OODA stands for Observe, Orient, Decide, and Act. The gist of the OODA loop, is a person has to first see or observe something, orient to or understand what it is he’s seeing, make a decision, then act on that decision. A man with great reflexes, professional training, who observes things developing may go through the OODA loop process in about three quarters of a second. There are some really fast sub one second draws on YouTube. I’ve seen other professional trainers (Thinking of the John Lovell Ret Army Ranger video) utilize a shot timer, hear the beep, draw, and get that first shot off in just under three quarters (.75) of a second. That’s fast. However, action beats reaction. That’s a principle. So for the man who operates outside of the law, he can raise a firearm inside of 3 yards, pointing it, and get that first shot off in around a quarter of a second (.25). All the unjust aggressor has to contend with, is the act stage of OODA. His observance, orientation, and decision making stages are often unknown to you. Yes, there are pre-attack indicators but that’s either learned through growing up, or working, in high threat environments (dangerous areas, as a target, not a tourist) for many years, or through professional training. Actions occurring in about a quarter of a second creates a problem for the innocent defender. Innocent defenders must learn the ways of denying unjust aggressors the opportunity to gain tactical advantages.

If you or I are the target of an ambush predator we want to observe them maneuvering on us as early as is humanly possible. Seeing early buys you time to maneuver away in avoidance or escape, or for tactical staging to properly defend ourselves.

Depending upon the circumstances a loud rebuke may serve as an ambiguity or a jeopardy test. Police officers rarely have a problem in the observing or orienting stages of OODA. Why? Training and experience. For a police officer the sticking point will most often occur in the decision making stage. It comes down to the “will.” Carl Von Clausewitz in his treaty On War defined war, in part, as coming down to the will of men. The “will,” is the decision making faculty of the soul. Often times we see emotions (passions) especially fear and anger dominate the “will.” We see a sort of battle taking place between the intellect and the emotions. Our intellects (knowledge) and emotions often battle over domination of our “will.” This battle plays out throughout our lives many times daily. The battle between sin or virtue, happens repeatedly throughout our day. The intellect is the highest faculty of the soul. The emotions are the lower faculties of the soul. Again, due to police training many if not most officers are quick to get their firearms out and up, in line with morality and the law. This is when for some, fear begins asserting itself into their decision making process. This isn’t true for all officers. There are plenty of video examples of officers who decisively win the physical battles they face. In all probability, the numbers probably look a lot like a bell curve.

An old friend and former training instructor at my old police academy used to add a silent “a” to the OODA-a loop which he said stood for acceptance. Can we accept what we’re seeing? Can we accept the context of what we’re seeing develop? Can we accept that next right thing we need to do – and then do it? When you see a goofy loop it’s often the result of an untrained response, lack of knowledge, or some fear holding sway. For officers it’s more often the latter – a fear. For a civilian it more often begins with the former – lack of a trained response and/or knowledge base. That doesn’t mean civilians won’t also suffer in the decision making stage of an OODA. Has that citizen been convinced they’re acting in accordance with morality? Has that citizen been convinced that legally they’re doing the right thing? Then there’s the reality on the ground where some district attorney’s suffer a false compassion for the unjust aggressors. A false pity for the robbers, rapists, and murderers. Here we find a fear of an unjust prosecution and incarceration. We are all living through the same strange time in history. For those who cannot accept the reality holding sway we see this:

“Drop the gun, put it down, drop the weapon, I’m not telling you again, drop it, drop it now, sir … drop … the … gun, DROP THE GUN …”²

Professional training ought to eliminate those hesitations based upon fears. We have to grow in discipline as it pertains to controlling our emotions especially fear and anger. Striving to remain calm and detached until such time as we need to act with surprise, speed, and violence of action. When an unjust aggressor is willing to insist upon his own way to the point of unjust threats of violence that is the time for decisiveness. That is the time to achieve and maintain a relative superiority until that unjust aggressors will changes or his will no longer matters. He still has a responsibility to stop doing his evil deeds. If he stops. We stop. This ain’t about competition. That’s for a ring with judges and a referee. As innocent people of good will – we’re not looking for fights and we’re not looking for revenge. Both of those are loser strategies on the legal, civil, and social battlefields. Time in any kind of violent confrontation is a precious commodity. I could repeat this a thousand times and it would not be enough. Time is a precious commodity in any kind of violent confrontation. All other things being equal – surprise, speed, SPEED – and violence of action win fights. Imbalances in subject factors or proportionality can mess this one up real quick. Surprise, speed, and violence of action attack a mans will by attacking his hope. When vigorously defending oneself the unjust aggressor has to deal with a rapid discouragement, despondency, and ultimately a kind of despair in being able to assert his unjust will. If done properly he enters into a kind of selfish, self serving, and preserving mindset of surrender. If we looked at it through the lens of the grieving process he’d be driven down into a depression (too little hope), where he suffers a psychological stoppage. His will to continue to fight goes away. Lawful force, brings him rapidly to depression and then enough acceptance to get him into custody. Unjust aggressors ego’s tend to be very resilient. So unjust men often ignore the loss on the physical battlefield and transition immediately to smack talking about the other battlefields as they’re being handcuffed: I’m going to have your job! I know powerful influences and politicians! The social battlefield! I’m going to sue you! I’m gonna get paid! The civil battlefield. You’re going to go to jail for using force against ME! The legal battlefield. I witnessed this play out over, and over, and over again. This is coming from experience not something I read in a book. These are face saving measures for a man who’s ego won’t accept he lost on the physical battlefield. Time is a precious commodity. Time ought not be wasted. Knowing where the lines are morally, physically, legally, civilly, and socially – are a matter of life or death, freedom or incarceration, financial stability or bankruptcy. The death, could be the death of someone you love and are gravely responsible to defend and protect. As the world enters more deeply into madness, those who would protect innocents will have to make exchanges in assumed risks. One might have to accept higher risks on the socially constructed battlefields of the legal, civil, and social, in order to accept the fundamental true principles on the moral and physical battlefields. Pretending that principles like: Action beats reaction are not true won’t help you win the fight. We must acknowledge reality even if this, that, or the other states attorney choose to run off to fantasy and myths.

Fear underlies many if not most of our problems. Fear underlies many if not most of our arguments. The next time you get into an argument ask yourself the question – What is the underlying fear of this argument? What do I fear I might lose here? Is this a threat to some perceived power or authority that I feel that I’m due? Is the perceived threat financial in it’s nature? Do I fear a perceived threat to some pleasure I believe that I’m due? Is this a perceived threat against some honor or respect I feel that I’m due? What is it I yet fear? It is a fear of losing something. That loss might be real or it might be imagined. St. Thomas Aquinas gave us four things we’re often tempted to, and do place above God: Wealth, power, pleasures, & honors. We all need some wealth to provide for ourselves and our families. These four things are not evil in and of themselves. They are good if used properly. Gasoline is good for combustible engines. Don’t you go drink a pint of it. That would kill you. These four things only become a moral problem if and when we get unbalanced to the point of attachment. Sadly we sometimes make one or more of these four things into little gods, or false idols, by spending all of our time thinking about, and striving, to accumulate more and more of them. When that happens the fear of losing one of these things will have a say in what we do next. Detachment is a winning mindset both in spiritual battles and in physical battles. Fear underlies pride. Fear underlies anger. Fear underlies the really worst parts of a mans ego. Fear – dominates. Show me the man who can dominate his own fears and I’ll show you a fiercely competent warrior. Goofy loops in Law Enforcement often stem from a fear of a loss of employment. There is a crisis of leadership today everywhere I look, and the troops know it. The troops have found out what and who their so called leaders are all about. Too many specious leaders are simply looking out for #1. Goofy loops may stem from a fear of the states attorney. Too many states attorney’s suffer terrible cases of false compassion for unjust aggressors. They suffer a false pity for the robbers, rapists, and murderers in their communities. That fear of the district attorney who holds prosecutor discretion or power, at it’s root is a fear of a loss of freedom. It is a fear of an unjust incarceration. We’re seeing these things increasingly hold sway. It doesn’t do anyone any good to deny the realities on the ground. Madness seems to have gained a foothold in the greatest nation on the face of the earth in far too many places. In some cases the goofy loop stems from a fear of political correctness. Political correctness is a curse and pox upon our land – and it’s getting worse!

“Drop the gun, put it down, drop the weapon, I’m not telling you again, drop it, drop it now, sir … drop … the … gun, DROP THE GUN …” ²

A goofy loop at it’s root is; an abdication of a responsibility by an officer, or by a citizen. Abdicating the decision of who lives and who potentially dies over to the unjust aggressor. Permitting the unjust aggressor to decide. Does that sound like a good idea to anyone? Sometimes as I alluded before, you don’t have an opportunity to stop the threat and you have to wait for that window of opportunity to open up. If you failed to pay attention or if the unjust aggressor really is that good at gaining a deep flank or an ambush position, sometimes you have to wait for him to turn away. Sometimes you have to wait to be in a better position like in his blind spot. It’s always best to exercise situational awareness doing our best to avoid these things early on.

It’s said that denial is the first stage in the grieving process. That five step process of 1) denial, 2) anger, 3) bargaining, 4) depression, and 5) acceptance doesn’t merely apply to grief. It applies to any, and all, bad news. It applies to a crisis. It applies to violent confrontations. How quickly can a man arrive at acceptance? Perhaps I’ll do a follow up post on the five step bad news process. Suffice to say denial is the stage where we encounter too much hope. An excess in hope. ‘Perhaps if I warn this guy 37 more times I won’t have to do my grave duty. I won’t have to incur any risks on the legal, civil, and social battlefields. This is all about me right? Maybe this unjust aggressive man will have a change of mind, a change of heart, a change of his “will.” Maybe he’ll show me mercy and compassion. Perhaps this will all just work out.

So where’s the harm? If I gamble my life or the lives of those I have a grave duty to protect by engaging in a goofy loop of 3, 17, or 37 warnings and I lose that gamble where’s the harm? Well, my friends, the harm is you and or your people suffer grave bodily harm or death. That’s the harm. That’s the context. So what is an acceptable percentage you’re willing to gamble? The correct answer of course is zero percent. We ought not gamble even one tenth of a percent, when dealing with an unjust aggressor looking to rob, rape, cause grave bodily harm, or death. He’s not entitled to even one tenth of one percent. Now he may have come to expect 27 warnings and there are plenty of progressive media folk and politicians that may disagree but if we’re talking legitimate moral and legal rights coming from God, and here in the United States the Declaration of Independence unjust aggressors don’t have any legitimate rights to threaten grave bodily harm nor death to innocents.

If you’re a police officer you’re responsible for every innocent citizen. Innocent being the qualifying term. If you’re a police officer you’re responsible for every brother or sister in arms. As a Catholic I can tell you with certainty that as a husband and father morally I have a grave duty to protect and defend my wife and children.

What is the only objectively reasonable response for an armed unjust aggressor when confronted by legitimate authority? The legitimate authority might be a police officer or an innocent citizen at home, in a vehicle, or on foot. When a police officer or other innocent citizen is placed in a reasonable apprehension of grave bodily injury or death confronts an unjust aggressor the only thing for the unjust man to do is to drop his gun and cease representing a deadly force threat. If he was armed with a blunt or edged weapon in close proximity the only thing to do is to drop that blunt or edged weapon. If he was advancing it’s to stop advancing. If he was unarmed advancing on a drawn gun then stop advancing. This is not rocket science. Whatever the unjust aggressor is doing to have achieved and maintain a threat of great bodily harm or death he ought STOP DOING THAT!

If the unjust man is reaching for a concealed area (waistline), and an innocent person who is experiencing a reasonable apprehension this guy going for a weapon, then when the citizen points a firearm at him the unjust man ought to stop reaching for that waistline. Show both hands, and comply or leave. Keep it simple.

Would you feel better if the unjust aggressor shouted at the top of his lungs “NO!” Would you feel better if he verbally pronounced his intention to murder you and yours? It’s not about how you feel. It’s not even about you. It’s for your people. If I ever write a book on authentic leadership I plan on titling it: For Your People. The unjust aggressor’s action – is – his decision. Accept it. Can you accept it? The sooner we can skip the other four stages of bad news (grief) and advance to acceptance – the better. I better write that again as maybe you’ve never heard this before. Actions – are – decisions. Unjust aggressors decide and reveal their decisions via their actions. What he does or fails to do, right? Right. And then the consequences play out. To think that an innocent is somehow required to gamble with their lives, the lives of their brothers in arms, or those for whom they’re responsible to protect is absurd beyond the pale. No innocent person should ever have to gamble any percentage of their life to an unjust aggressor threatening grave bodily harm or death.

As a society we ought to take a step back, look at these things honestly, and stop with false compassion for the unjust aggressors.

Verbal warnings many times are not feasible. Television would have you believe that police are required to shout out “Police, drop the gun!” That is not required in many places, nor under many circumstances. Seek out professional training to begin learning what is and what is not objectively reasonable. In my old police house it was a question of feasibility. If feasible we gave verbal warnings. In some cases to give a warning would be akin to shouting: “Police, right here! Shoot me first! Shoot me now! What are you waiting for?” Just about every time we gave verbal warnings the unjust citizen then wanted to make a complaint against officers for threatening them.

As I wrote before, when an unjust man finds himself in deadly force confrontation with legitimate authority (lawman or citizen), there is only one right thing for the unjust man to do. Immediately – and I mean IMMEDIATELY drop his gun, show his palms, step back away from that firearm, and obey every single command perfectly. That’s it. Any man who fails to separate himself from his firearm has already made that next critical decision. That decision is the action of continuing to hold onto his gun. Perhaps his decision is the action of continuing to hold on to (retention of / alignment with) a blunt or edged weapon in close proximity to an innocent. Perhaps his decision is the action of continuing to advance and compress time and distance with an innocent while armed or even advancing while unarmed on a drawn gun held by an innocent (that would be one gun in the fight). In it’s essence it is having achieved and maintained the ongoing unjust threat. The unjust chooses retention of and alignment with his weapon of choice for the next decision. Is he going to choose to stop, turn back, and leave? Or is he going to raise it and use it against you and yours? Decisions, decisions. The threat remains as the seconds continue clicking by and the circumstances remain “tense, uncertain, and rapidly evolving,” the language of Graham vs Connor.

“The calculus of reasonableness must embody allowance for the fact that police officers are often forced to make split-second judgments – in circumstances that are tense, uncertain, and rapidly evolving – about the amount of force that is necessary in a particular situation.”³

You either arrive at acceptance, and do what needs to be done, or you gamble and abdicate your grave duty of those you’re responsible to protect over to an unjust aggressor. You have to decide. Permitting an unjust aggressor to decide is betting against yourself and those you purport to love. It is betting on the mercy of a man demonstrating gravely evil unjust actions. It is grossly imprudent in my estimation. Not deciding – is – a – decision. The action of legitimate defense of self or others is different in substance from the unjust robbing, raping, kidnapping, murdering, and setting fire to an innocent.

Do not abdicate the decision over who lives and who dies to an unjust aggressor. If you gamble on an unjust aggressor showing you and yours mercy, you error, you error. Take seriously your grave duty to protect those for whom you’re responsible for.

Every single tactical question in the world can be answered with just two words. It depends. Little by little we come to learn what it depends upon. Begin today. The longest journey still requires that the first steps be taken, and God willing, we may have miles yet to walk. May God give us the grace to choose the right road.

1Training at the Speed of Life, Vol. 1 by Kenneth R. Murray

2Training at the Speed of Life, Vol. 1 by Kenneth R. Murray

3United States Supreme Court GRAHAM v. CONNOR(1989)

Mindset has more than one aspect to consider. We could talk at length about detachment which is a major part of a winning mindset. We could talk about how well or poorly we’ve informed our intellects via knowledge and training. Furthermore, we could deep dive into self-awareness and humility versus arrogance. As Socrates said – know thyself, right? We could talk about the proper and improper uses of emotions like fear and anger, as major parts of mindset. We could talk about a learned or experiential propensity for violence. We could talk about why a winning mindset far surpasses a competitive, or survival type mindset. We could talk hard realities like how easy a superior foe can be felled with simple opportunity. The acceptance of that knowledge is crucial to mindset. Ignore it at your own peril. Those are all critical aspects of mindset. We have to begin somewhere so we’re going to begin with a couple of hard questions: Are you prepared to deal out lethal blows to stop an unjust aggressor from causing you or yours, Great Bodily Harm GBH, or death? (Statutory language in Illinois – know your state statutes) Are you prepared to die, that your people might live? In this post I’ll explore some aspects of these two questions.

In my latter twenties, as I grew in my Catholic faith I began questioning where the moral lines were relating the proper use of violence. Because of my occupation in law enforcement, I understood well – where the legal lines were. In my case, I sought guidance from a devout Catholic priest who prior to becoming a priest, happened to have served his country in the United States Army. For a Catholic it can be a very serious sin to fail to defend the people you’re responsible for. All Christian’s could benefit from this knowledge:

There is a lot to unpack in these teachings. I’m not going to attempt to unpack all of it in this post.

Generally speaking in America we’re supposed to be an “innocent,” defending ourselves against an unjust aggressor. The threat of force is supposed to be imminent, and our response to that threat is to be proportional to the level of the threat ie; non-deadly or deadly? Where feasible, we ought to avoid violent confrontations. However, the bad guy always gets a vote, right? The force we use ought to be both objectively and subjectively reasonable.

A sound moral and legal strategy is to limit our force to stopping the unjust aggressor. Stopping him is our intention. If an unjust aggressor changes his will and surrenders – we stop using force. If an unjust aggressor refuses to relent but is rendered unconscious – we stop using force. Our intention is not to kill the unjust aggressor. That may be the result of the force we use, but our intention is to stop him. There is a distinction here that is not mere semantics, and it has to do with our intention being limited to stopping. In dealing with an unjust aggressor who presents the threat of GBH, or death we must be willing to deal out lethal blows. A lethal blow is likely to cause death. Likely is not a guarantee. People are moving, accuracy isn’t perfect, especially during tense, uncertain, and rapidly evolving confrontations. If our intention was to kill the unjust aggressor we’d attach bayonets and finish him while he lays unconscious. If our goal was to kill him, once we incapacitate him we would put more rounds in his head and never call for an ambulance. We’d get the shovel from the shed, as it were.

I’m going to convey this again: When an unjust aggressors will changes to a full surrender or a compliance (depending upon the circumstances), or his will is forcibly removed through unconsciousness – THEN we stop using lethal force. However, until their will to cause us or ours GBH, or death is removed – we strike, strike, strike, strike, and strike. We must be willing to exhaust ourselves in an effort of achieving and maintaining a kind of relative superiority until they have a change of their will. Some men will never have a change of will. Some men you will have to render unconscious, dying, or dead just to stop them.

Battlefield Exchanges

To properly apply fundamental principles in an ever changing world we have to sometimes assume greater risks on one battlefield over another. In a day and age where some elected states attorney’s over-zealously charge even police officers for doing the hard job of stopping an unjust aggressor, we have to accept that we may incur a higher risk on that legal battlefield. We have to be willing to accept an exchange of higher risks on one battlefield or another, if we seek to win.

“Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” Vince Lombardi

Spiritually this is a truth. If we fail to cooperate with the graces given and fail to make it home to our Heavenly Fathers house – we fail – forever. That is why I believe the moral battlefield is the highest of all battlefields. If we fail to get that one right – that failure may be eternal. Morally and legally, as an innocent we have a right to life. Unjust aggressors are “unjust.” The unjust have no right to rob, rape, or murder. They actually forfeit their right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, when they set their will, on a course of robbery, rape, and murder. Their only hope, is to immediately cease all deadly force threat towards an innocent. Does that mean the elected states attorney in your jurisdiction will see things your way? No. There are no guarantees. That is primarily why I’ve purchased concealed carry insurance.

Who are we preparing to fight? Are we preparing to fight an unjust aggressor who will surrender at the very sight of our firearm? No. If that happens, that’s great. Are we preparing to fight an unjust aggressor who will suffer a psychological stoppage after the first bullet enters his chest cavity? No. If that happens, that’s great. Thank goodness, at whatever point he suffers a psychological stoppage. Are we preparing to fight an unjust aggressor who has made a decision that you will have to kill him to stop him, and that he will not stop until your dead? Yes. Yes this is precisely who we are training to fight. The worst possible unjust aggressor on the planet. Why? Because to presume any lesser unjust aggressor will show up, is to gamble with one’s own life and/or the lives of those we hold a grave duty to protect. If we make a mistake in that kind of a gamble we may die, and ever worse, those whom we purport to love and are responsible for may die. When the harm to you and yours is GBH, or death don’t gamble, don’t hesitate, don’t abdicate the decision of who lives and who dies over to an unjust aggressor. Do the hard seemingly dirty things that ought to get done to decisively win. When the window of opportunity opens on an unjust deadly force threat, it will not long remain open. You may only get one window of opportunity. Should a combat sweet spot or window of opportunity open with an unjust deadly force threat, move through it violently, with lethal blows and don’t dare let off that trigger until he clearly surrenders or he’s rendered unconscious, dying, or dead. Period.

It is legitimate morally speaking to insist upon more respect for one’s own life than any number of unjust aggressors. Again, our intention should be to stop them. If they live or die, ultimately that’s God’s business. We’re not finishing anyone off. We’re not seeking vengeance – that’s God’s business. Not our business.

Moderate violence isn’t what it used to be. Moderate violence in my opinion is anything short of deadly force. Imagine St. Peter the first Catholic Pope explaining to a modern states attorney how cutting off the high servants ear was moderate violence. Moderate violence isn’t what it used to be, and there is a difference between what is moral and what is legal. What is legal or more importantly what a modern states attorney of a certain mindset, may interpret as legal grows weaker by the day. Today, even police officers who follow the United States Supreme Court case law precedents like Terry V Ohio, Tennessee V Garner, and Graham V Connor have problems in various places with liberal minded states attorneys. I’m not going to deep dive down that rabbit hole. That would be a long digression.

The Catechism says “Legitimate defense can be not only a right but a grave duty for one who is responsible for the lives of others.” Grave duty means – serious sin if you blow off that duty. There is no right to be a pacifist if you’re a Catholic. If we go out and murder an innocent, that is a grave sin. If we refuse to deal – a lethal blow to an unjust aggressor threatening to murder innocents we’re responsible for – that too would be a grave sin. The idea of a fence to straddle is a deception, a lie. There – is – no – fence. Do good, and avoid evil. We best do the work to understand where those lines are.

The grave duty to defend doesn’t say anything about succeeding. I can’t guarantee you or I are going to live through any deadly force confrontation. Some are far more risky than others. When your mission is simply to avoid, or defend yourself, you can take more calculated risks. When your mission is to protect those you’re responsible for, the risks you must accept will be of the highest nature. In the first place you’re only as fast as your slowest loved one. That loved one might be two or eighty two. Your job is to buy time and opportunity that your people escape. You purchase the time needed for that to happen by incurring greater risks and moving into the gap. Where escape is not an option your job is to move into the gap, accepting if anyone is going to be shot here today – it’s you. Not your people. Hint: pray early and often for the graces needed rather than relying on your own strength for something this noble and good.

If it were just my wife and I at home asleep, and someone was to break in, I would barricade in the bedroom, grab my firearm, and have a plan for my wife to call and stay on the line with the 911 dispatcher. I would have the police come deal with the intruder. The police would incur all the physical, legal, civil, and social risks. I would do what I need to do, if and when, the unjust insists on compressing into our bedroom.

However, in my home I still have three children whom I’m gravely responsible for. Our bedroom is upstairs and the children’s bedrooms are downstairs. If I were to be awakened at O’ dark thirty by the sound of the walkout slider door shattering, barricading in place is not an option. As a father, I must move direct to the threat, to access and solve whatever potentially violent problem I’m confronted with. That means I’m going to have to do my best to get to the problem before they get to one of my children. Direct to the threat often means point blank range with that threat. What is in his hands? If he has a firearm in his hands and he’s not a police officer, there is absolutely nothing to discuss. The only sounds should be the concussion of my firearm discharging sending lead into his chest and face until such time as he voluntarily separates himself from his firearm or he’s unconscious, dying, or dead. As always the dead part is God’s business, not my business.

One Gun In the Fight

If he doesn’t have a firearm in his hands the only acceptable responses are he’s either leaving or he’s freezing in place. What he is not going to be permitted to do, in my house, is align on the firearm in my hands and compress distance on that firearm. Why? I will not gift him an opportunity to disarm me and use my firearm against me and my family. He will be shot as he compresses time and distance on my drawn gun. An unjust aggressor will not be permitted to engage in a hand to hand battle over control of my firearm.

Point Blank Range

Point blank range is inherently dangerous when dealing with an unjust criminal aggressor. Why? It is really hard to miss your target at point blank range. It can happen especially if one of the combatants gains surprise and the other finds himself so far behind in John Boyd’s OODA loop (Observe Orient Decide Act) that they’re literally being shot. Then panic sinks in deep and one might try to just make some noise with their firearm in hopes of turning the fight around. This sometimes happens to police officers who get too far behind in a gunfight. Bad guys with felony convictions don’t typically get issued FOID cards in the state of Illinois. They don’t typically have access to a square ranges to practice marksmanship. They don’t typically have access to competent firearms instructors to help them get better at marksmanship, combat shooting, or any other skill based training to help them improve in competence. Bad guys use ruses and lies to gain point blank range. Point blank range is their competency range. Once they gain it then comes the surprise and subsequent domination. As a father, I have to move direct to the threat to ensure that threat cannot and will not gain opportunity over one of my little ones. Solo room clearing or moving direct to the threat is essentially mutual destruction. When that unjust aggressor breaches your little castle and begins maneuvering throughout it while armed with a firearm you have to be prepared to stop him.

Shot Ain’t Dead

Have you ever considered the possibility of being shot? You should because if you’re planning on solo room clearing direct to the threat, that very well may happen. Just because you’re shot doesn’t mean your dead. Can you still win the fight if you’re shot? Yes. Can you still win the fight if you are mortally wounded and you are going to die? Yes. What’s your mission? Protect your wife and children. If you stop the threat do you complete your mission? Yes. Even if you die? Yes. This mission isn’t about you – it’s for – your – people. Even if you’re heart shot you may still have double digit seconds left before your blood pressure crashes and you lose consciousness. Pray for the grace to burn it in. Pray for the grace to complete your mission. Decide now to be in that small percentage of folks who accept even death with a desire to protect and keep their people safe. A hard saying. Pray ahead of time asking for those graces. The question is: What are you going to do with whatever time you’ve been given? If you have 12 seconds – make – them – count. Focus on getting your firearm working and keeping your firearm working until he’s stopped. Don’t waste precious time. Stop – the – unjust – aggressor. Focus on winning the fight.

Once he’s done if you’re still breathing then is the time for spiritual and physical self care. Then you can make your peace with God, simultaneously applying whatever physical self care you can to slow down your bleeding. Forget about the Hollywood nonsense. Almost everything you’ve seen on television as it relates to what to expect when you’ve been shot is nonsense. Dead is dead. Shot is not dead. Win – the – fight.

Conclusion

There are many aspects of mindset. Suffice to say if you want the highest probability of winning in a deadly force encounter, then you need to begin by thinking, and praying on these first two fundamental questions. Are you willing to deal out as many lethal blows as it takes to STOP an unjust aggressor? Are you prepared to risk and die in an effort to STOP an unjust aggressor that others might live? Don’t wait until an unjust aggressor forces his will upon you to figure out where you stand on these fundamental questions. Uncertainty and confusion on these questions are massive disadvantages in combat. It is far better to be involved in a shooting than a gunfight with an unjust aggressor. The distinction is an unjust aggressor in a gunfight is shooting back at you. The advantages go to the man or woman willing to do the hard, and seemingly – I say seemingly dirty things. Those things are not dirty – they seem dirty to a weak kneed generation raised in exceeding comfort. They seem dirty when presented in a certain kind of light by ideologues in the media. The actions of legitimately insisting upon one’s own right to life, or an innocent loved one, over and above an unjust aggressor is good, right, and just. It is not dirty. If you know what your doing it’s also not fair. We don’t seek fair. We seek to win. Remember, shootings are better than gunfights. May God give us all the graces we need to do good and avoid evil.

1Catechism of the Catholic Church

To become a craftsman, is to become competent. Competence is an attribute of leadership. There is an old Latin saying: Nemo dat quod non habet – You cannot give what you do not have. How do you purport to lead if you don’t know the way? Knowledge. Do you have the ability to explain, show, and do the job? Skill. If you’ve done the work you should strive to understand the how, why, what, where, when, and who of all aspects of your craft. Why? You can’t give what you don’t have. If you expect your people to do a job and to do it well, then be able to properly prepare them to meet and exceed the standard. In this post, I will look at a few angles associated with craftsmanship. I will share a priceless excerpt from C.S. Lewis short essay, The Inner Ring.

The Crisis

Stories of incompetence abound in every profession. Why? There is a crisis of leadership today. It’s easier to accept incompetence than it is to ask, tell, and make subordinates, come up to the standard. People like easy. You have to care to endure the discomfort involved in leading. Patient coaching of subordinates or holding them accountable is uncomfortable. Leadership requires teaching, reproofs, and correcting. Confrontation is a major part of this. A failure to confront is at the very heart of this crisis. Hoping the problem will somehow fix itself, is not a plan. Failure to lead is indifference at best, and cowardice at worst. Confronting another human being with patience, kindness (concern for), and firmness is challenging. There should be no hint of compromise. It might sound something like this:

‘I’m making a commitment to you to do everything within my abilities to help you to meet and exceed standards. I will break my back, as it were, to coach you to success. I care and I’m willing to do the work it will take to prove it. I want and expect to see you improve at this, that, or the other thing. I’m also making a commitment to you, that if you refuse to do your job, then I will begin documenting. I will keep documenting and start the disciplinary process. That will continue until you have suspended, demoted, and fired yourself. Please accept my sincerest desire to help you. You have to decide. My job is to confirm your decision, and let the consequences play out!’

Too many people who ought to care – don’t! If you’re in a leadership position, spend your time focused on becoming a craftsman. Provide your people with the highest probability of success.

Accountability

Merriam Websters defines accountable: 1) Subject to giving an account; answerable. 2) capable of being accounted for: explainable.

Both definitions carry a responsibility for leaders. There is a responsibility to discipline, fire, or properly defend your people. Is the accused actually responsible (answerable), or is he able to explain (explainable) it away? Discipline those who deserve it! Properly defend those who acted rightly and justly! This is simple, yet hard to do. Accountability is not a one way street. One way justice, ain’t justice, it’s revenge. Here is a partial definition of justice:

“As a virtue, it is the constant and permanent determination to give everyone his or her rightful due…¹”

Accountability depends upon who is innocent and who’s unjust. The innocent go free, the unjust answer.

Is your leadership “willing” to do the hard and seemingly dirty things that need to get done? Is your leadership “willing” to do the unpopular and inconvenient things that need to get done? Who does your leadership fear? My boss won’t like me! This, that, or the other special interest group won’t like me! The media won’t like me! My troops won’t like me! Indeed. Just do the right thing and don’t worry about who likes you and who doesn’t! If you stand for something you will have people lining up, who don’t like you. Stop with buzzwords, and define things clearly. If you want to be liked, buy a puppy.

You Do It Right

I recall a Catholic priest sharing he once asked a seminary professor: What do we do if we find ourselves serving under a bad Bishop? The answer was simple, yet profound. He said he was told to be aware of the problems, but in the end: You do it right. Doing it right often involves the risk of paying a price. The authority given to leaders is a responsibility. It’s not about you! It’s for your people.

One of my best friends is a pilot. He told me when he became a Captain, an authentic leader told him to look over at his right shoulder. On his right shoulder were four stripes representing the rank of a Captain. As a First Officer, he formerly sported three stripes. Upon completion of his final check ride, this leader extended his index finger and poked my friends shoulder as he touched each stripe he emphasized four words. He said: Its – all – your – fault!

What was he telling this young Captain? He was telling him to accept the responsibility given to him to do right things. He was telling him there are no excuses in the end. He was telling him you can’t blame the flight attendant who’s begging you they need to make it home tonight. He was telling him you can’t blame the first officer. You can’t blame the company. You cannot blame an incompetent air traffic controller. He was telling him, the authority given – is – for – your – people. Time to grow up and be answerable as it is all the Captains fault. A Captain is answerable for doing the right thing, for the right reason, at the right time, and in the right way. The way we fix this crisis in leadership is one person at a time. You, whoever you are and wherever you find yourself, do it right. Become a craftsman! Why? You can’t give what you don’t have.

C.S. Lewis The Inner Ring

C.S. Lewis was a Christian British writer born in 1898 and died in 1963. If you have not had the pleasure of reading The Inner Ring you can read it at:

https://www.lewissociety.org/innerring/

“The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. But if you break it, a surprising result will follow. If in your working hours you make the work your end, you will presently find yourself all unawares inside the only circle in your profession that really matters. You will be one of the sound craftsmen, and other sound craftsmen will know it. This group of craftsmen will by no means coincide with the Inner Ring or the Important People or the People in the Know. It will not shape that professional policy or work up that professional influence which fights for the profession as a whole against the public: nor will it lead to those periodic scandals and crises which the Inner Ring produces. But it will do those things which that profession exists to do and will in the long run be responsible for all the respect which that profession in fact enjoys and which the speeches and advertisements cannot maintain.”2

The Inner Ring is about a desire to be inside the innermost circles of knowledge, influence, and power. Lewis provides deep insights into these innermost concentric rings. It comes down to time. What do we do with the time given? Today many focus on ‘the game,’ meaning politics. Politicians spend all their time focused on becoming a craftsman at politics. We need craftsmen at the jobs professions actually exist to do. Political craftsmen often fail to properly defend their people when they act rightly. Why? Compromise (a form of indifference), or cowardice.

Whoever you are and wherever you find yourself, these principles apply to you. Whatever you do in life strive to become a craftsman. Don’t settle for mediocrity or substandard performance. Use your time well. If you are accountable for subordinates, help them and if they refuse to do their jobs discipline them. I’m going to conclude this post with a quote from Vince Lombardi. It is very relevant:

“I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious.” Vince Lombardi

May God give all of us the grace, in the end, to lay exhausted on the field of battle.

1 Modern Catholic Dictionary, by Fr. John A. Hardon

2 The Inner Ring, C.S. Lewis

Perception can be tricky. To obey God as it relates to turning the other cheek over an insult, slight, or minor offense, to a generation whose often tempted to value vengeance can seem ugly. It’s not ugly. It’s good, true, and it’s beautiful to obey God. That’s what it is objectively speaking. Subjectively, it may not feel good, true, or beautiful. Do – it – anyway. Love is in the “will.” Love isn’t merely a sentiment or an emotion. I might not feel like loving those I’m supposed to, on a given day. What must I do? Do it anyway. Love is a decision, not a feeling. The Good, True, and Beautiful are convertible terms for God. What He has revealed to us – the Truth is good, true, and beautiful. If there is a problem with that, the problem is not with the Truth. The problem is with us. Our filters get dirty and clogged up, and grace don’t flow. Our filter being our upbringing, education, world view, training, and experiences. So being raised on a steady diet of action and revenge films, messes up our filters. We fail to accurately perceive things. In this last post, I’ll share a humbling experience where I had to make a decision. If you can picture your ego like a puppy, mine was chewing on the couch, as it were.

Konrad Adenauer, Chancellor of West Germany 1949-1963, made sometime after World War II. I like it. It definitely applies to my life innumerable times:

“God has placed obvious limitations on our intelligence but none what-so-ever on our stupidity.”

I was blessed at my old house to have competent instructors at our Academy. The training cadre at any house are critical seats to fill. If you lack competency among the chiefs but still have competency in your Academy, all is not lost. They can still train the officers to act rightly and they can be called upon to render opinions on seemingly questionable uses of force, internal disciplinary hearings, arbitration, wrongful termination suits, and in court for both criminal and civil. They are underutilized much of the time. Somewhere around the halfway point in my career I recall an Academy instructor who cared, and put out, in effort to properly train his people talking to us at in-service training. The instructor explained the potential legal and civil issues we might experience if we acted under color of law, off duty, especially outside our jurisdiction. What I took away was to be a good witness unless an active shooter is murdering innocents.

When I retired an acquaintance asked me my thoughts on concealed carry insurance. Thinking I knew what I didn’t actually know, I told him I wouldn’t be buying it as if I ever have to use my firearm I’ll be receiving some kind of an award, for defending against an active shooter. Time passed and I started looking more seriously at the prospect of starting a business. I had learned in law enforcement how critical it was to understand case law (United State Supreme Court & lower courts). If I was going to be involved in any kind of legitimate firearms defense training I knew I needed to do the same kind of study I did in law enforcement. That meant studying case law, statutes, and earning credentials with the USCCA, and NRA, as a concealed carry & home defense firearms instructor. I needed to understand exactly what was being taught to concealed carry license carriers, and equally important what they were not being taught. I methodically read, highlighted, and annotated about three dozen Illinois court cases involving a legal claim of self defense. I read Andrew Branca’s The Law of Self-defense, which confirmed the lessons learned during the case law study. After all of that my opinion changed, and I now have concealed carry insurance. Pride blinds us. The old saying; You don’t know what you don’t know. Pride stunts our growth. If you want to get better, then humble yourself and put forth the effort, doing the work, striving to become a craftsman. That could be a whole separate post.

As I was attending courses and accumulating credentials I had an opportunity to be tested. By God’s grace my intellect won out in the end.

I was staying at a hotel in Jacksonville, Illinois, May 17th, 2019. In the room next to mine, there were two men and a woman, talking very loudly and laughing. It was around 9 PM. I watched tv, and I figured eventually they’d settle down. I had school in the morning. Sometime before 11 PM, it was still going strong. So I called the front desk inquiring about the possibility of changing rooms. The clerk advised he’d take care of my problem by asking the men to quiet down. One of the guys was so loud I could actually follow his conversation. I hung up and within 30 seconds, I hear the loudest male scream, “F-you!” Then someone slams their fists or body into the wall between our two rooms, to emphasize his point.

Now you have to understand, in law enforcement we confronted the worst human beings on their worst days, and we did this every tour of duty. Sometimes multiple times a day. Picture the worst human beings in any community and guess who’s going to get to go deal with them? The police. Confrontation was like breathing. So part of me was desiring to get out into that hallway first. Part of me wanted face time with this guy. My curiosity wanted to know; Just how big a boy was he?

As you sort of grow up in law enforcement you start out desiring to prove yourself to your brothers in arms, to the criminals, and to yourself. As you mature you’ve been there and done that, so many times eventually you begin angling more towards calculated risks which are a lot smarter. Early on you’re okay with getting nose to nose with a bad guy. As you mature you realize that’s simply an opportunity to get sucker punched and knocked out. So you learn to have no problem growing in humility and taking a step back as you remove your can of pepper spray from it’s holder, and shake it in preparation for what’s next. So at some point your intellect begins influencing your will more than your emotions.

When you retire you have to acknowledge the truth that things are now radically different. You’re no longer sworn law enforcement.  As a police officer it was your job to go after the bad guys. To pursue them. That is not the case for regular citizens. Now the winning strategy is avoid. To let their illicit desire lead them to pursue you. To be able to show they pursued you which makes clear you were in jeopardy. As a citizen there is no corporate counsel to defend you free of charge, or to negotiate a settlement. You’re just like everyone else high up in the tree out on the thin limbs, as it were.

This was merely an insult, a slight. He had two biased witnesses. Think trial witnesses. People lie for each other all the time. What’s the probability his two witnesses will remain on his side? I have no one with me. There are two men and we’re isolated on the third floor. If we get to fighting, what stops his brother from joining in against me? Two on one, how far am I willing to take this? How far would I have to take this to win? Perhaps just to survive?

During my career as a police officer, I always knew that if I was taking a severe beating to a point nearing exhaustion, incapacitation, or unconsciousness I had recourse to drawing, shooting, and decisively stopping any unjust aggressors attack. That was ever present in the back of my mind. That is the mentality officers have to have. It’s called – a winning mindset.

Physiologically I had just received a cocktail of adrenaline and science says other chemicals dumped into my brain, increased heart rate and increased respiration, as frequently happens preceding a fight. That cocktail gets the body and mind ready to do physical battle. Only, there was no physical battle. So I experienced it as something ugly and uncomfortable. All that stuff poised and ready, and the right thing to do was to keep it all inside my hotel room. Habitually, when this happens in law enforcement or off duty asleep in your home when you hear a loud noise. Those physiological responses are your cue to move towards the threat. So to go against that habitual reaction is very uncomfortable. To sit or lay idle waiting for war to come to you, is the opposite of what you’ve trained yourself to do. It’s akin to taking a beating against a bigger, faster, and stronger boxer, and not quitting. To this day when some loud noise awakens me my heart rate might instantly kick up to 165 heart beats a minute or so and I’m up and moving direct to the threat. That movement meshes perfectly with the cocktail of adrenaline and other chemicals dumped into my brain. That movement forward meshes perfectly with where and how the blood is moving in my body to prepare me for what comes next. That movement is goal oriented. That movement is focused on things like tactics and urgency and resolve. Purposefully not advancing leaves one with far less focus and distraction. As a child, I always hated the thought of scheduling a fight after school. I very much preferred when the fight would happen spontaneously and all thoughts could focus on winning the fight. Does it take more of a man to dish out a beating or to endure a beating, and not quit?

Juxtapose the intellect with my ego. Juxtapose the intellect with my emotions tempting me to go out there and demonstrate to Mr. “F-you,” what commitment really looks like.  But that’s the ego talking, right? We need some of that to be able to do the things we did as police officers. There is a right use for that and it’s for your brothers in arms, your family, and you if it can’t be avoided. This – could – be – avoided.

To go out there to feed the ego was the wrong thing, wrong time, wrong reason, and wrong way. It was wrong on the moral battlefield, It was wrong on the physical battlefield. It was wrong on the legal battlefield. The civil battlefield has even less of a standard of proof than the legal battlefield.  Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong.

I picked up the phone and called the clerk again, wondering how the clerk could be so poor at his job, as to tell this guy what room called. Mental note: if this ever happens again, explicitly tell the clerk not to reveal which room is calling. The clerk says he’ll handle it. I hear these guys out in the hallway.  Then I learn the clerk told this guy if there is one more call, he’s out of the hotel. The quieter of the two guys says: “I know your tempted, but don’t do it.” Tempted to do what exactly? So I put my Glock 19 on the nightstand and lay down to watch some more television. If he’s unjust and resourceful enough to somehow come through a locked hotel room door (doubtful as those doors are solid), war will have come to me.  At that point I’ll be doing the right thing, for the right reason, at the right time, and in the right way. I’ll be right on the moral battlefield, the physical battlefield, the legal battlefield, and probably the civil battlefield but their are no guarantee’s right?  Right.  

I never said a word in response from the beginning of this to the end. I remained quiet, little, and meek. I was kind of surprised how much my ego sort of gnawed at me (chewed on the couch) and it kept it up even into the next day.  I recall an old Sergeant telling me one time:  Sometimes you get the bear and sometimes the bear gets you.  It kind of felt like that.

After some time passed, and the adrenaline dump faded, I remembered to pray.  I prayed for this guy, his brother, the woman and all of their families. I willed it. It doesn’t matter how I felt about it.   Love is a decision.

The ego as it relates to insults, slights, and minor offenses is a trick.  It is a diabolical trick that puts more men in the ground or prison than just about anything else.  If you will suffer this temporary pain – and it can be a sort of emotional pain – you will grow stronger. You will gain ground as it relates to a controlled strength (meekness). That controlled strength will serve you well when things get serious as it pertains to the emotions of fear and anger. As it pertains to panic and ego.  If you will endure that perceived ugliness (it’s not really ugly), you will build up a capacity to operate in the higher realm of the intellect which can then influence and direct your “will.” The intellect and the emotions, are often at war over dominance of the “will.” Stop letting your emotions dominate and direct the “will.”

He didn’t say another word, and within a few moments they all moved on to some other room to continue their late night loud talk. I went to bed.

In conclusion, you must begin controlling your ego or your ego will control you.  Not puffing up in a bold posturing stance makes you feel like a coward. Most men who posture are hoping that’s enough. It’s kind of the whole idea behind lifting weights and rolling up your sleeves. You kind of want people to not actually make you bleed. Most men would rather people just respect, honor, and fear them without having to get bloody to prove it.

There was a saying in Law Enforcement – The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in combat. The point is to do the thinking in advance. Do the training, and repetitions so that you’re better prepared for the real thing. Do the hard work. This building up of the mental and emotional strength is part of that training.  People who are willing to grind it out over time, have a much better probability of becoming a craftsman at their chosen professions. The more you control your emotions your passions, the more control you’re going to have when you need it. That matters so you don’t panic and so you don’t hesitate. Both extremes are bad.  May God give us the graces we need.

I’ve heard it said that ego has put a lot of men in early graves, and in prison cells. Ego in the worst sense of the word, has to do with our illicit desire for honors. In the first place it is a desire to posture as if ready to fight over insults, minor offenses, or slights – perceived injustices. Our sensitive ego needs reassured and comforted that we’re not a coward. We desire to feel courageous. The emotion of fear looms large, and we’re tempted to posture. We’re often content with a cheap display of posturing, to feed those insecurities. The ego demands to be fed: Whats the problem? Are you scared of this guy? Are you a coward? I thought you were a man. Why aren’t you out there dealing with this guy? Who does he think he is? He doesn’t know you. He doesn’t know what you’re capable of! Get out there and look as big and menacing as possible! Most people don’t really want to go to war over insults. They might want to appear as if ready to go to war. But most people don’t really want the pain, injury, and potential death that may be a part of that ordeal. So they seek to posture, just enough, to quiet down the ego. Secondly, the spirit of the world has given us the lie that the right thing to do is to seek revenge, or vengeance. That – is – a – lie. Increasingly we see folks clamoring for justice, though if the decisions of the states attorney or courts are not to their liking, then it’s not justice. Vengeance is increasingly confused with justice. God has made clear vengeance is His, and His alone. We ought not seek that. In this post I’ll explore the bad side of ego, pride, and arrogance as it relates to legitimate defense.

Fears

We fear many things. That’s the reason we have arguments in our families. We fear losing control. We know we’re responsible to protect, provide, and lead, and yet we get push back. Leading is often hard work and many don’t desire to be led. Our people don’t understand why they shouldn’t do this, that, or the other thing and we fail at calmly and effectively communicating the why and how. We argue and raise our voice. We lose patience because things are not going well, and we use sarcasm. We fail to remain calm, and we fail to lead. Early on when we’re spun up emotionally, we don’t feel like apologizing, as that requires us to take a low position. This is one small arena where we can begin dominating our emotions and growing in strength. Ask yourself as you begin to get angry or impatient – What is it I yet fear? Socially and professionally we often fear losing wealth, power, pleasures, or honors (St. Thomas Aquinas). With insults, minor offenses, and slights, honor is what we fear losing. Respect is another word for honor. We fear losing respect. We fear humiliations. Yet humiliation is an exercise of the virtue of humility. It is with great effort and pain we gain strength at the lowly aspect of humility. To grow in the truth aspect of humility is less painful. We fear a vulnerability to humiliations. Ask yourself; What is it – I’m afraid of?

The solution is one – move towards those fears that we know we ought to conquer, and then sit down in the low seats. Ought being the qualifying term. We have to be willing to be vulnerable. Failures are opportunities to learn. We want to believe when the time comes for great calculated risks, we’ll move towards the sound of the guns. Will we? With a brotherhood holding us accountable we will. On our own? How disciplined are you? What kind of habits have you been forming? An analogy: Few men lay down on a bench press loaded with a four hundred pound barbell, and competently move that weight. We begin with the bar. Begin – with – the – bar.

Don’t egg things on

As stated in the previous post, ego has much to do with the emotions. Ego is easily recognized in the emotion of anger. Fear lies at the root of anger. We get angry and we’re tempted to exaggerate insults, minor offenses, or slights into perceived injustices. If someone offends our own personal sense of justice then our ego might begin demanding that guy needs to learn a lesson. He just flipped me off after endangering me and mine. I have to teach him a lesson! Do you? Is it your job to teach lessons? Is that part of your mission in life. No. That jerk is not your subordinate, nor his he your child. If he was your subordinate then you’d document the incident, and discipline him. If he was your child you’d provide age appropriate discipline. But disciplining a stranger? That’s not a moral, legal, civil, or social thing.

The Word of God teaches exactly the opposite. As it relates to insults, offenses, or slights, we’re to turn the other cheek. In antiquity, men of old, we’re not as sensitive today as our current generation. A slap in the face was a mere insult. A slap was not a call to go to war. Now-a-days if someone looks at another person wrong, its often time to go to war. That is the wrong way! If someone gestures to you in a road rage incident do nothing to provoke, encourage, or facilitate mutual combat. Don’t speed up, don’t begin braking or slowing down, and don’t offer to pull off to the side of Route 66. If you do nothing to escalate things guess what will happen 99.9% of the time? He’ll move on. For the .1% of the time a crazy guy develops a fixation on you and yours, you’ll be able to honestly report (via your attorney) you did nothing to instigate, aggravate, or otherwise participate in any kind of mutual combat. You will have retained your innocence by trying to avoid the problem. That means any potential witnesses, video, or any other evidence will support your claim of lawful self-defense. You’ll sleep just fine if you have to defend yourself against such a man. If instead you decide he must be taught a lesson, then you’re indulging in mutual combat, and perhaps even becoming the unjust aggressor as he tries to get away from you. You’re going to lose the legal battle, and you’re going to go to prison. You’re strategy is terrible. You’re adopting a losers strategy.

Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord

Then there’s the vengeance thing. Occasionally we read about a burglary or perhaps home invasion victim who chases the criminal out into the street and starts shooting as the bad guy runs away. Sometimes that bad guy is shot or killed. Guess who’s getting charged? Of course discretion is involved with elected states attorney’s, but citizens who go after the burglar and start shooting out of what looks a lot like vengeance, are going to find themselves on a legal battlefield. Knowing where the lines are is a matter of freedom or incarceration. It can’t be: Oh you think you can steal from me?!? Revenge or vengeance is God’s alone. Don’t touch it. That is a hard line. Where do ideas like ‘teaching lessons‘ or ‘Oh, you think you can steal from me‘ come from? How many television programs and movies have we watched in our lives which show the so called ‘hero,’ killing all of his enemies, their friends, and everyone associated with them? Our generation has suffered a steady diet of vengeance via bad media influences during our upbringing. Music videos, immoral video games, etcetera. What are we feeding our intellects? Are we having any conversations with our children about what’s moral and what’s not moral in what we’re viewing? Why are we surprised when we feed our intellects garbage, that we experience garbage in, garbage out? How is that a mystery? It’s not – a mystery. It’s common sense.

Virtues

To compound the above listed problem we have stopped talking about virtues! We have even stopped talking about values. There is a radical distinction between virtues and values. Values are subject to change like the passing opinions of man. Values could be viewed like a river bank. A river bank can suffer erosion and it can overflow it’s banks. Over enough time that bank line can change significantly. Virtues on the other hand are like the bedrock in a riverbed. Virtues don’t change. I think it was Archbishop Fulton Sheen who first gave this analogy using doctrine and discipline.

Do you hear a lot of leaders talking about virtues? No. We’ve come through the enlightenment right? What a sick joke to call it that. It is a great darkening of the intellect of man. A great darkening and turning away from God, Who truly enlightens our minds and gives man common sense for the common good. What do men who sit in leadership seats today talk about now that we’ve forsaken virtues, and even set aside the weaker standards of values? Buzzwords. We are so weak kneed, and spineless in our current generations, we’re down to buzzwords.

Digression

Bear with me, I’m about to digress. So we hear many so called leaders today using buzzwords. The word nice is a kind of buzzword. Not as clear cut as something like accountability or transparency. But we’re told; “We must be nice.” Must we? To understand things we often have to go back. Do an internet search for the word “nice” and “etymology.” At www.etymonline.com/word/nice I found this definition: “foolish, ignorant, frivolous, senseless,” from Old French nice “careless, clumsy; weak; poor, needy; simple, stupid, silly, foolish,” from Latin…” Anyone think being nice is still a good idea? The word nice is not found in the Word of God. Do a digital search – no results found. If you’re a Catholic do a digital search of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for the word nice – “No documents match the query.” Weird. Yet, if it’s so important to be nice don’t you think there would be some mention of it in the Word of God? Today the word nice according to Merriam Websters dictionary has multiple different definitions, some of which are also negative in nature but this one jumped out at me: pleasant and satisfying: complaisant, affable, agreeable, considerate. Should we just pick whatever definition of nice we prefer? What do you mean by we should be nice? Define the term. Be clear and take a stand on what it is you believe.

Nice has no “love” for the other person. I got to write that again, it is very important. There is no “love,” in being nice. Nice is unwilling to risk anything for anyone. Being nice – is cowardly. Spiritual or moral cowardice is a very bad thing. How bad it is?

Revelations 21: 8 “But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted, as for murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their lot shall be in the lake that burns with fire and sulphur, which is the second death.”

Cowardly is listed first among all these bad things. Morally. On the moral battlefield.

Being nice is about looking out for number #1. Being nice is about compromise. Compromise is one way the spirit of world gives peace. The spirit of the world gives peace through compromise and unjust pressures, unjust threats, and unjust force. If we cared about virtues we’d be inclined to study words like Charity. Charity is love. What’s love? A great place to start is:

1 Corinthians chapter 13: 4 “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; 5 it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

The correct word all of us should substitute for nice is “kind.” Why? Kindness has to do with “concern for” the other. That – is – love. To be kind means one’s willing to risk for the other – mostly to tell them the truth when they ask for it. To be kind is to care about one’s people. Kindness is courageous. Kindness is love. In the world of legitimate defense it’s one of my twelve principles – loud rebuke. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do as we strive to avoid a violent confrontation is to loudly rebuke the other person. That’s for another blog post. Is anyone teaching these truths today. Instead we’re told to be “nice.” Meaning, don’t upset anyone. Don’t put me in a position where I have to risk losing power, honor, wealth, or pleasures. Be nice! Just be agreeable with everyone. Just compromise with whatever nonsense is holding sway. Be affable, be pleasant, and satisfying. If you go that way realize you’re acting and directing your people to be ignorant, careless, weak, and stupid! That’s being “nice.” I’m sure being “nice” pays off in terms of wealth, power, pleasures, and honors. But I’m also sure being “nice” lays waste to the common the good. Should we be tactfully kind? Yes. Should we be respectfully, and patiently kind? Yes. Where are you leading your people? If you’re focused on being nice and compromising with evil, you’re leading your people the wrong way my brothers and sisters!

Truth is not the same thing as insults, minor offenses, or slights. The Truth is worth dying for. Prudence is certainly involved in who, when, and how we preach to folks. I’m not going out and preaching on the streets to folks who are not well disposed. How do I know when it’s time to tell someone the truth? They’ll ask for it. They’ll ask us what it is we believe. Or they ask for some advice. Or they’ll come to this website and willingly read what I’m writing. The conversation will just find it’s way to – that – place. As a Catholic I’m not ‘insisting on my own way.’ That’s part of love as defined in 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

I am not advocating approaching folks on the street and correcting them for their use of profanities. I’m not advocating correcting them for parking in a handicapped spots. Now if some unjust criminal aggressor crosses the line and begins threatening or attempting great bodily harm and/or death to innocents that – is a radically different scenario. If your conscience bothers you because someone is illegally parking in a handicapped spot, call the non-emergency police number and let the professionals handle it. That’s their job. Is that instance of illegal parking worth you going to prison for? Is that worth dying for? Can I, should I? Can I confront him? Yes. Should I confront him? No. What’s the probability he’s going to have a deep sense of remorse over illegally parking in a handicapped spot, and thank you for your fraternal correction? Wake up! The probability is near zero. Gratitude and entitlement are at war! There are legion who feel entitled. Is it worth compromising your mission as husband and father? No, of course not! Fulfill your mission!

Politicians are not going to clearly talk about the good and right limits to any buzzwords. Start defining words and you’re going to start losing votes. Ambiguity is a politicians friend. Weak – kneed – and spineless wordsmiths. I’m done digressing.

Egos are insatiable

Imagine the ego like a pit bull puppy. Start feeding that puppy and it’s never going be satisfied. Every single time it feels threatened it’s going to demand to be fed. It’s going to demand, to be reassured. I brought up virtue because I understand the only way we can make something stronger is by exercising it. If we want bigger shoulders, we have to exercise them. If we want to stop some vice then we look at the corresponding virtue, and we begin exercising that virtue. The temptations to the vices are also opportunities, to exercise the virtue. So it is with the insecure ego.

Why should we discipline our egos? Why should we deny our ego the reassurance it seeks? First of all, most of the time we feed the ego we’re simply posturing. As the world grows darker we’re going to be forced to back up that posturing and get bloody, get dead, or go to prison. Over what? Some guy following too closely? Dying for what? Some guy cutting me off in traffic? Going to prison for what, because neck tattoo accidentally bumped me coming out the doors at the grocery store? Because this, that, or the other guy stole my parking spot? Because he parked in a handicapped spot? What are willing we to go to war for? How far are you willing to go to back your posturing up? Are you willing to die for an insult, a minor offense, or some slight? Are you that insecure? Are you willing to kill for the same? The answer should be – no. The bad guy always gets to make a choice. Free will, right? If he chooses to drag us to war over some nonsense, then I’m going to enter that war at a moment he doesn’t expect and I’m going to do my best to use surprise, speed, and violence of action, to achieve and maintain relative superiority until he chooses to stop, or he is stopped. That might be with something like pepper spray, or if the threat is of great bodily harm or death a firearm. He chooses, I confirm his decision, and the consequences play out. That’s on him.

We ought not let our egos out unless this violent confrontation cannot not be avoided. Insults, minor offenses, and slights can generally all be avoided. Generally being the qualifying term. I live in place with a lot of blue collar folks who race from stop light to stop light. I can tell you from experience that if you don’t begin playing acceleration and braking games with them, 99.9% of the time they move on.

Recovering Lost Innocence

Now we’re not perfect and in a moment of weakness, we might mess up and and let the puppy out to play, as it were. Then what? Is there any recourse for us if that happens. Yes. This ain’t legal advise, and I’m not an attorney. Illinois case law includes discussion on how to recover lost innocence. Illinois statutes also deals with this question in 720 ILCS 5/7-4 Use of force by aggressor. In part it states:

“such force is so great that he reasonably believes that he is in imminent danger of death or great bodily harm, and that he has exhausted every reasonable means to escape such danger other than the use of force which is likely to cause death or great bodily harm to the assailant; or in good faith, he withdraws from physical contact with the assailant and indicates clearly to the assailant that he desires to withdraw and terminate the use of force, but the assailant continues or resumes the use of force.”

If it were my job as the prosecutor to poke holes in your story I’d study what happened and simply attack your claims that you exhausted every reasonable means to escape, by pointing out some reasonable means of escape that you didn’t choose and let you or your attorney try to explain why that wasn’t possible. I’d attack whether you ever actually indicated clearly your desire to withdraw from physical contact and terminate the use of force. I would use circumstances to my advantage to show this wasn’t the case. To show you were not actually afraid as you stated, based upon subjective reasonableness in what you did or failed to do, that goes against the claims you made.

That’s Illinois statutory language – whatever state you live in, it’s your responsibility to look it up, and figure it out. Go talk to an attorney if you need to. Go take some professional training where you have the opportunity to ask questions and clarify whether what you believe is right thinking or not.

I’m going to suggest we give much thought to Saint Thomas Aquinas when he said: “An error in the beginning is an error indeed.” It’s easier to compound mistakes made in the beginning than it is to try to fix them after the fact. Better to not let the puppy out to play, as it pertains to insults, minor offenses, or slights. Why would it be easier to do it right from the beginning? Once you’re in the fog of war, as it were, you might be too busy fighting, and too spun up emotionally to to think clearly enough to remember what to say. Getting punched in the face makes it more difficult to recall: “I would very much like to withdraw from physical contact and terminate the use of force.” Now I’m being a little bit sarcastic here, but you get the point.

In the day and the age we live in, it is all the more important, to avoid escalating these minor offenses, insults, and slights by responding in kind. It’s not a contest to see who can be the most arrogant. Be humble, and fulfill your mission.

Your Mission

If you’re a husband or a father, your life is not your own. I probably should write that again as you might not have heard that before. If you’re a husband or a father, your life is not your own. You have life long responsibilities. You’re mission is to protect, provide, and lead your family. You have a responsibility not to waste your life for some insult, minor offense, or slight. You have to grow up. You cannot act like a child any longer. It is a responsibility to make prudent choices for your wife and your children. How are you going to protect, provide, and lead them, if you’re killed or in prison for going to war over an insult, minor offense, or a slight? It is selfishness to the extreme to reject your mission, and to feed your insecure sensitive ego. Secondly, when you walk out, puff up, and posture, realize you’ve just lost your lawful ability to claim self-defense. That’s the prison part. Self defense is a legal term. It doesn’t matter how you feel about these things. It is what it is. Square off to reassure your insecure sensitive ego and if that leads to violence you’ve just initiated or participated in mutual combat. Mutual combat means you lose “innocence.” Proving your not innocent is one of the ways an elected states attorney in your jurisdiction will send you to prison. Lastly, if you consistently operate based upon your emotions you’re going to be more inclined to panic and / or quit. It makes you weaker in the long run. You weaken yourself mentally if you constantly indulge your emotions. Do you desire to be weaker? When the chips are down if you’ve always taken the easy road what makes you think you’re suddenly going to be imbued with strength of mind? When you begin losing hope – you’re going to desire to listen to that voice that says; It’s over. There is nothing more you can do, so just quit. Just let it go. Don’t fight it. Just die already! If you’re not accustomed to denying yourself, how do you imagine you’ll have the power to do anything other than indulge yourself that one last time? You’ll do what you’ve always done. Begin now in little ways building strength by controlling and denying your emotions as they relate to fear, anger, impatience, etcetera. It’s like building a foundation. When that moment in life comes where you have to make a decision to either fight, or lay there dying the death for all eternity I want you to be able to spit in the eye of the voice that says: It’s over. Just quit. Don’t resist. I want you to fight with a great propensity for violence so that you might win.

Even if it seems a sure thing that you can’t win – you still have a choice to make. Quit and die – or go out swinging and perhaps still stop the unjust aggressor. I have to clarify this a little farther. I’m not drawing on a drawn gun at point blank range, unless I believe he is going to murder an innocent, me, or mine. I’ll create or watch for a window of opportunity, what’s called a combat sweet spot. If all he wants is my money – I’m handing it over. I’ll be a good witness. If he makes clear to me he’s going to kill me or mine, that is what I’m talking about when I say even if it seems a sure thing that you can’t win – you still have a choice to make. In that type of scenario, by God’s grace, I have a desire to choose to go out swinging in the hopes of potentially stopping him. That is the sub one second draw – with a few other tactics thrown in.

No honor among thieves

When things get tough most people abandon one another and save themselves. No honor among thieves. Why is that? For the most part thieves have developed habits of saving themselves. Thieves have developed habits of looking our for number #1. It’s the two ways that are set before us. The way of good and the way of evil. The way of truth and the way of lies. The way of life and the way of death. The way of picking up you Cross and carrying it, or leaving laying in the dust so as to save yourself. If we “will,” to be different than the thieves (insert unjust aggressors, bad guys, villains, etc.), as it were, then we have to begin denying ourselves. We have to begin practicing habits of self-sacrificing love. Selfless acts need to be habitual. Practicing and building habits of risking suffering and losing things for our people. Easy to say – hard to do.

There is this great line near the end of the movie Gladiator. Commodus the villain, is talking smack to the man of war Maximus. Commodus is taunting him about unspeakable things done to his son and wife before they we’re murdered. Maximus humbles himself and exhibits restraint warning Commodus: “The time for honoring yourself will soon be at an end, highness.” Indeed. The time for all of us honoring ourselves, will soon be at an end, as we’re all getting older and every man dies and faces his judgment. What a humble, kind way of warning Commodus he’s going the wrong way. An awesome movie of a man of great character, humility, and a propensity for violence. Maximus exercised humility, and meekness – a controlled strength. Spoiler alert; Commodus couldn’t defeat Maximus even when Maximus was mortally wounded and dying. Maximus had control and domination over his emotions. Over his fears, his anger. Fading in and out somewhere between this life and the next, Maximus fought until his enemy lay at his feet, and time gave way to eternity. A movie? Yes. Just a movie. But it points to a reality. There is no more dangerous warrior than a man who can dominate his own fears, his own anger. Go read true accounts of posthumous medal of honor recipients, and you will see it points to a reality.

Sometimes unjust aggressors do choose to burn it in. Sometimes they’re willing to die. But in the end it’s almost always a selfish decision. It’s never a selfless – self sacrificing kind of decision. Sometimes the unjust aggressors don’t tell on each other or they’re willing to exchange their life for some perceived return on their investment. Sometimes it’s a fear of what will be done to them by others if they tell and sometimes it’s a fear of going back or to prison. Men who habitually choose vices and selfishness almost never turn around. Almost being the qualifying term, as by grace some do turn around. So we pray. The right road is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life (Matthew 7: 14), few willingly choose it. It involves a Cross laying in the dust, that needs to be lifted up and carried. The wrong road is wide and easy and many there are, who choose that road. That is in the bible. Believe it.

As for you, begin now in small ways dealing with your fear and anger. Why? If you find yourself in a life and death struggle you want to have built up the emotional strength necessary to have control over your fear and anger. You’re disposition will be such that when the temptation to quit begins stalking you – you’ll be empowered to spit in it’s eye. Start now my friends. Start now.

In conclusion, we ought to seek humility and meekness (controlled strength) as it pertains to insults, offenses, or slights. Vengeance is God’s business, not our business. Stay far away from vengeance. Humility includes a willingness to take the lowest seat. Humiliation is the exercise of the virtue humility. Lowest seats are awesome tactical seats. Why? An unjust aggressor is more inclined to underestimate a man who takes a lowly seat. That underestimation or over confidence on his part, is a great gift. He won’t see the strike coming. The word defend doesn’t mean to block. It means to strike. Check Merriam Websters and scroll down to the section on history and Etymology. There you will find; To strike. We don’t want unjust aggressors to see the strike coming. We don’t want to telegraph our defense as we don’t want them to have the opportunity to stop the defender from defending. There’s not much challenge or fun in spinning up with a humble guy. The arrogant guy is more apt to spin up against a like minded arrogant guy. The arrogant believe they have to take out their threats. If you’re not perceived as a threat… You get the idea. May God give us the graces to know and to do right things.